I said them to you, and just outright asked you to be honest and tell me if they were true, you didn't say anything. If you cared at all I think you would have.
I swore this blog wouldn't get like this, but I'm over breaking promises to myself, but this a resounding fuck you to that promise. And, more importantly, to you.
I have never wanted to destroy something more than I do that picture frame. The funniest part is that last week, I told you I couldn't, because something told me not to. Needless to say, there's a hammer that's about to write a new chapter in the life of that picture frame. And a little blue Zippo Lighter that's going to burn away what's left of the time I spent with you.
You see, I typically am not one to run away from a problem, but I have got to admit, I went into full retreat when I saw you standing there... with him. Now, don't get me wrong, who you ride elevators with while you try to avoid me is really none of my goddamn business, but to be frank, don't you think you've given both of us enough shit. And then there's you know, your boyfriend, and God only knows what he would think about all this. I have no idea.
Although this isn't about you, because everything I did was for almost two years, and one year and one day after something pretty amazing happened, it hit me.
I'm holding on to the past.
A tiny sliver is holding on to the notion of us, or was, because the last little bit died tonight. The last bit of hope went out not with a bang, but a whimper. I gave up, in the best way.
I'm too old for a lot of the things I do. I'm too old for as many, if not more, of the things I do.
And so this is the end of the holding on to the past. I am letting go. This is who I am, now, and so I had better get busy living, because I can't die any slower.
This is the goodbye to the past, and hello to a future with your face purposefully absent.
Find a way to unfollow this blog. Because its going to be much easier for both of us if you don't stick around to see me be just fine without you.
